Weekend Humor From Celia Rivenbark: What Are Your Diet Lifestyle Choices? Just kidding, I really don’t care

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Weekend Humor From Celia Rivenbark: What Are Your Diet Lifestyle Choices? Just kidding, I really don’t careI’ve been thinking a lot about ’23 and I. It’s not the DNA kit that reveals I was “accidentally” dating my half-brother. 2023. For example, will this be the year I find my perfect diet? speaking. Maybe this year is the year you become a Sustinatarian. This sounds like a place that used to put tuberculosis patients in the old days. If I become a Sustainatarian, it will also be real and a dinner party darling! Where are you going? It’s not over yet!”) No one really knows, but I’m pretty sure it’s a little fruit soda bottle made out of edible wax. Sustinatarian is the most noble of his diets, a very specific lifestyle to choose in 2023. If that mantle seems too heavy, perhaps you are a “social omnivore.” “Appetit” means “I would rather smoke” in French. Social omnivores do not buy or eat meat at home, but do eat at restaurants if invited to dinner or at dinner parties at other people’s homes. I think a more general term to describe is “cheap ass”. Seriously, social omnivores try not to hurt their feelings or be so rigid that the dinner host puts another meal together like a fussy toddler. and “flexitarian,” mostly vegetarian, but occasionally eating meat and fish. Unlike social omnivores, flexitarians may pay for meat and fish to consume at home. They even invite a few “carnivores” to show that they are open-minded. Metatarians are people who consume meat every day. like me. That meat mindset can be left behind in his 23 years in favor of becoming a “reduceatarian”, someone who deliberately reduces the amount of meat and dairy consumed in a day. If you still don’t understand what it means, let me use it in the next sentence. Social omnivores and reductionists go to bars. How long will it take before reductionists realize they’ve bought all round? “Climatarians” don’t consume beef or lamb because of the environmental impact of corporate farms. “Pescatrians” eat fish, but not meat. And “vegans” don’t eat meat, fish, seafood, dairy, or eggs, but eat a healthy, noble, plant-based diet entirely, sometimes compensated by disrespecting others. Carnetarians eat meat but no fish, so I’d say the average age is 24 months. It takes a little more time in the school cafeteria to shape the “fish” into fingers and soak it in ketchup. I was struggling to find the right lane — I can’t be a carnivore forever — until I learned about “vegetarian” — not a vegetarian, I eat meat, but even a little bit of animals Those who seek to inflict pain. Minimize harm to the environment as much as possible. Perfect! I have already purchased grass-fed beef. I think my steak came from cows who had a nice life roaming the pastoral pastures of only the blue part of Texas, so OK, it’s the streets of Austin. I’ve been buying cage-free, free-range eggs for years because I like eggs laid by a flock of talkative chickens that get dressed and tease all the energy of big roosters in the barn. It’s possible that I overthinked all this. Like veggie bois, am I right? <img decoding="async" class="alignleft wp-image-134482" src="http://pulse.ncpolicywatch.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Celia-Rivenbark-2021-150x150.jpg" alt="" 幅="132" height="132" /><a href="https://celiarivenbark.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Celia Rivenburgh</em></a>< em> is a NYT bestselling author and columnist. <a href="mailto:celiarivenbark@gmail.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">celiarivenbark@gmail.com</a> write her a letter to</em>